Amazing grace
First an update on my brother: He’s doing much better! The blood thinners have stopped any further episodes and he’s doing great. There have been so many prayers being said for him from family and friends, as well as strangers to him from my church and from my online group, for which I am so thankful. I feel that grace and strength are bestowed upon those who pray as well as those who are prayed for. (Pardon my preposition.) He may be released today or tomorrow and will return home next week. Today’s his birthday, too; when the hospital staff brought his lunch, they sang Happy Birthday to him, Beatles version. Happy Birthday, bro! I love you so!
As I’ve said previously, I aspire to one day have the faith and wisdom of Kwai Chang Caine (Kung Fu). The Amish response to the killings of their beautiful, innocent daughters is that kind of faith fully realized. In their extreme grief, they acknowledge forgiveness of the man who killed their children. No thought of vengeance, no words of recrimination, no bitterness. Tears, sorrow, loss – they experience all these, of course. They are devastated, of course. "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." These are people who fully live those words. One family told a reporter that they are grateful for the prayers and sympathy the world has expressed … and asked for prayers for the gunman’s family as well. Simple, plain, prayerful, they live fully in faith, ready to meet God at any moment. In fact, one Amish woman told a reporter that if something like this had to happen, that it would be preferable – if that’s possible – that it happen to children who were ready to meet God, than to children who were not yet ready. That is such a dfficult thought to wrap my head around, although I understand the sentiment. I understand the loving, Christian, faith-filled response of forgiveness more easily.
Last night, I imagined those 10 little girls, tied up, sitting beneath the blackboard, terrorized and fearful. I imagined an angel holding each one of them close, witnessing their tears and reassuring them that God was with them, that God loved them and that they would always live in the eternal Love that is God. I imagined the Peace of Christ filling each of their hearts. May the Peace of Christ now fill the hearts of their loved ones as they grieve in deepest sorrow for their children who will forever be little girls. Amen.
The Center of My Self 
I read your view of this sad event, and sense your admiration for those who as a matter of practice forgive…I dont know exactly the sentiment I want to convey, but I was perplexed by the ease they seemed to impliment such grace…I am so unlike them, tho in the end I strive for compassion and depth of understanding…even to cling to hope when everything goes pearshaped…and in life it seems that is bound to happen from time to time…I dont know how they do it…I like you have imagined those final moments for the innocent souls…and have pictured a variety of scenarios from the gentle one you describe, to a more macabre what must they have been thinking in those last two minutes of their lives… I understand the confidence that faith promotes…in all believers…and the comfort their certainty has produced…and yet I wonder of the depth of the emotion…I guess they would make lousy subjects for a classic novel, in that they simply do not demonstrate the PASSION and ANGER and visiable heartbreak that is juxtaposed to that ethereal peace, and love and BIRTH of… the light of forgiveness from out of the pitch blackness…
I guess I am just not used to forgiveness coming with such seeming ease…(tho I am sure it is not easy for them)… Why is it that I am more moved by the forgivness born of a transformation of the soul…a man who would kill in revenge but responds to his basest instincts with its antithesis a visable CHANGE of heart…I suppose the idea that these men and women could bypass that darkness is what has been the most confusing thing for me…I saw their response…it was literally incredible to me…maybe because of the words in a letter I once recieved in which the author expressed deep bitterness and pain at the death of her mother…and finished by saying..but I would rather feel deep deep sorrow and pain and great happiness or joy than be luke warm in any emotion… Sometimes as I watched the "forgiveness" for the perpetrator, I thot I heard more sorrow for him…The attendance at his wake (which is never for the dead but for the living who remain)….I understood their compassion toward his family whose heartstrings had also been severed by the sythe of the grim reaper…I heard the words of sorrow for his soul…which may have been a balm for their own… I know tho, that the stages of sorrow that are necessary in the psyche of each of us includes shock and denial and anger and desires for justice before mercy comes forth from the tomb of dark thots…all of which takes time…TIME…THAT is what I did not see…the TIME and the evolution feelings…as Rod Stewart sings… I cant believe how much I see… can this be real, can this be true…am I the person I was this morning and are you the same you…its all so strange…how can it be…..now I understand what LOVE is… I compared their reaction to the death of their innocent little ones..to an experience I had with a neighbor…she was an old woman standing on her driveway watering her merrigolds…we had been neighbors for a year and she always seemed so bright and cheery…Is Karl your only son? I asked…oh no she smiled..I have another son, his name is Jack..I dont know him I confessed…I know…he passed on in 1947 (40 years before this conversation)…she then went on to tell how he had just gotten his drivers licence and wanted to go to the butcher shop for her..she refused but he talked her into letting him go..she threw him the keys and he drove away…a hundred feet from the butcher shop the tracks crossed the road..he was hit by a train and killed that day..she got this far away look in her eyes…oh you know when he died he left this hole in my heart…when people leave us it leaves a hole.. and it seems that no matter what we do..there isnt anything we can do that ever really fills it…a tear ran down her cheek…oh I miss him… I didnt know what to say…but I FELT a kind of self forgiveness in her that comes after YEARS of WHAT IFs and introspection and TIME for our souls to offer what they have acquired from the continual lessons from the loss itself…. She then turned towards me and smiled…I have two sons…as I walked back to hug my kids…I sobbed..
What a beautiful, true statement, Rose, my stream friend.
Forgiveness is the power that gives us all peace. I am sure that even byond ther taught beliefs in forgiveness, they have *found* them to be true as well: vengeance and anger only bring pain into the heart of those carrying it. The Amish are often described as a peaceful people, and I know it is more than simply their abhorrence of violence or conflict–they carry it within them, show it simply to the world through their demeanor as well. I live in a small community with a large number of Amish too, much like Lancaster. I see the Amish every day I am in town, at the Doctor\’s, visiting with friends at the various businesses in town. All are kindness, courtesy and blessed respect for themselves. We have an Amish schoolhouse out of town. The entire tragedy hit very close to home here within my community. Thank you for writing such a beautiful commentary on the best community I know.
So very, very glad your brother is better! Yes, the prayer power is so important. Sometimes I believe it is solely due to the faith of the believers and the one who needs to be healed, sometimes I believe it truly is dvinity intervening. It certainly does good to pray for someone…the feeling of peace afterwards, the knowledge you have gone to the Divine on someone else\’s behalf and are sending loving energy into the world. I am hopefully and prayerful he will continue to do very well and be healthy again soon.
Love to you,
Lynn
this is a beautiful post. I\’ve been contemplating grace a lot lately, actually just posted about it as well. The amish community\’s response has been beautiful and uncomprehendable. It\’s always amazing to see belief and grace in action.